Starting something new is always scary.
I am a creative person with a lot to say. Once I believed I would go to film school, and I did more “practical” things and regretted that ever since. I was too young to realize I had power to not agree with my parents’ fear-based ideas. Where was Jim Carrey when I was 18?
My life since has been a series of attaining things without being based in fear. Finishing degrees after divorce, remarriage and children, majoring in English, etc. And now I have a new dream that I’m working on now – writing the book that’s been in my head for years.
I believe that I have a talent and a vision, and with a blog like this, I can get a lot of practice in honing those skills using short stories and articles as I continue to work on “Totem”.
But, every once in while, don’t you just get a feeling like you’re not good enough…like people will laugh and you really should just leave these things to the really talented people who can (and deserve to) do better?
I think that’s common for anyone who has a dream or two. It happens every time I’ve given a speech, stood on stage, or taught a student. And it passes, as always, as soon as I hit the stage.
But, this is a bigger audience and the implications of putting my whole mind out there, naked, is a scary thought. Even if I know that other people feel that way and even if I know that it’s not dangerous or weird.
But, at times (usually when I already feel down) I doubt my abilities, my talent, my desires, my goals, and my right to do creative writing, and I wonder if I should be doing something that takes less time, or if I should be focusing on things more practical. My parents’ fear-based lessons are hard to shake off, even at 37.
And then I saw Jim Carrey’s video this morning and got cured. And when I feel this way again, I’ll watch again, over and over. What he says is not news to me. I’ve always followed “alternative” universal philosophies. But he says so well what is easy to believe and hard to practice. Pesky ego.
If you need some life coaching today, I encourage you to truly digest this: